So, judging by the fact you’ve clicked this link, I’m SURE you’re wanting to know, “what’s the secret to enjoying being gluten free?” or “Is there anything else I can spend a bunch of money on even though I’m skint and pay £3 for my bread and just forked out £4 for an M&S wrap?”
Well YES there is. I’ve put together this perfect guide to items and products that will help you on your gluten free journey. Maybe you’re a newly diagnosed coeliac, been told you have to go gluten free for other reasons, or have been gluten free for donkeys years and sick of pretentious blogger clickbait like this post. Well I love jumping on a trend, and putting my own twist on it, so without further ado, here is my list of essential items to help you live a cool a.f. gluten free life!
- A good pair of headphones. To drown out the noise of KFC, Papa Johns, and Krispy Kreme advertisements, amongst all the other stuff we can’t eat. I recommend some noise cancelling ones. I wish there was something to block out smells too, life’s just not fair.
2. My Overdraft, for helping me through thick and thin, when I’ve had to spend money on essential gluten free products, like all of those Mr Kipling cherry bakewells, Tesco’s Free From Chicken Katsu Curry and that Starbucks Panini.
3. A great olive oil infused shampoo that promotes healthy scalps and hair growth, like Rehab from Lush. For repairing the hair I’ve lost through stressing about finding safe gluten free places to eat out, and scratching my head at items that don’t contain gluten anyway, but still have the ‘gluten free’ label, like Mayonnaise.
4. Some vitamin D. To help maintain healthy bones, as I’ve arthritis in my finger from pointing out gluten on food labels. And from writing emails & tripadvisor Reviews to companies about their gluten free options. I recommend the spray from Better You, and natural sunlight.
5. Sale rails! Since I spend all my money on gluten free food, it leaves not much money to spend on good clothes. Of course I would happily spend £40 on a sweater, if I didn’t have to spend £3 on a loaf of bread. Come on, guys, who do you think I am(?)
6. Bonjela. For the mouth ulcers I get from biting my tongue every time I hear someone tell me they’re gluten free , but they pig out on a gluten filled ‘cheat meal’ at the end of the week.
7. And finally…. Anti Wrinkle Cream. For all of the times I’ve had to fake smile and pretend to enjoy another cop out of a dessert, like a dry crusty chocolate brownie, or ‘fruit salad’… Grapes are not a pudding!
So there you have it! If you can’t laugh at these things then you’ll most certainly cry. Don’t forget to subscribe to me on here and check out my other social channels below.
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One thought on “7 MUST HAVE items that help me manage my gluten free life [comedy post]”
Bang on lass…love it xxx
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